#1 The Reality of Rejection
Rejection in love, your career, with friends or anything else doesn't feel great and sometimes it can feel overpowering. The suffering that happens with rejection comes from being overly fixated on the perceived "loss." The reality is that rejection is a part of life, and with this experience one is offered an opportunity to grow stronger.
#2 You Are Not Alone
Being deliberately excluded by a group or somebody creates an experience of rejection; the psychological term is Social Rejection. This happens to everyone, and it happens all the time in various degrees. Try not to worry or run away from rejection, as it will not improve it and you’ll miss out on life experiences.
#3 Allow Yourself..
It’s normal to feel bad, but don't bottle up your hurt and disappointment. Give yourself permission to release emotions safely and in a healthy way by playing sports, journaling or simply having a good cry. This step is essential to allow your mind to think clearer and move forward towards new opportunities.
#4 Remain Open-Minded
Consider looking at the situation from “the-other-side” as well as your point-of-view. Detach yourself emotionally and ask, "What would I have done in “their” shoes?" This gives one a sense of control by not relying on the acceptance of others to feel positive or negative about the situation and yourself.
#5 Avoid Self-blame
Don’t add to your suffering and don't "beat yourself up!" Be aware of any negative self-talk; instead “talk” to yourself as you would a best friend in need. Believe you did the best you could, because if you could’ve done better you would have!
#6 Infidelity in Love
It’s often a natural reaction towards betrayal to wonder if it’s your fault or if there’s something wrong about your attributes or characteristics. It’s best to distract from focusing on yourself or your partner until emotions have balanced. If you're distraught, you’re likely to be harder on your self-esteem and unlikely to find the real reason the cheating happened.
#7 Review your Options
Let yourself move to the next chapter in life when the time comes, don't remain stuck on the same page. In professional settings don’t be afraid to ask why you were rejected, especially where there were no reasons given. Sometimes this opens a dialogue to "right any wrongs" or it may lend tips on what’s needed to improve your situation next time around.
#8 Seek Alternative Connections
Find a sense of belonging through friends and family. Professor Eisenberger from UCLA Social Psychology Dept. theorizes, “positive interactions with people cause a mood boost in humans by releasing chemicals, which facilitate pleasurable reactions in the brain.” If you actively seek out others, you’re bound to feel better during difficult times.
#9 Mantra: Pamper Yourself
Being rejected means it’s time to unwind! Do something to restore your equilibrium, be luxurious and have a soothing hot bath, massage, facial or a meditation with candles. Some people turn to their faith during times of self-doubt and bad feelings. The key is to be your own nurturer.
#10 A Holiday?
Yes, you are worthy! This is a great time to take a break and if possible go on the holiday you’ve been dreaming of. Often times getting away from your everyday routine brings more balance and perspective on a difficult situation. Sometimes the newness of an inspiring location will distract your mind from obsessing and looping over that dreadful rejection.
#11 Seeking Professional Help
If after rejection sorrow turns into depression, there's relief in seeking professional help like a therapist or psychologist. Depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. Alcohol or drugs are forms of emotional escapism that can become addictive and create more problems in the long run.
#12 Time To Live and Laugh
Remember all those things that make you laugh and give you joy?! Call on your best friends and make it a mission to do at least one of those "things" right away. Pick up an old and forgotten hobby or do a bit of shop therapy. Take the focus off the pain and find other reasons to live.
#13 Using Objective Analysis
You can avoid unwarranted feelings of rejection by being mindful to the differences of individuals. Every person has a completely separate reality, no matter how like-minded. Avoid a surprise reaction or rejection when asking for something (like a favor), by imagining at least two possible outcomes, one positive and the other less so. Remember rejections never speak to your core self-value and esteem.
#14 Retaliation Over Rejection
Avoid the temptation to blame someone over being rejected, even if they’re mean or unfair. It’s understandable to be disappointed for the loss of time or opportunities, but you didn’t “need” that person to make you “whole” or happy in the first place. With diplomacy you’ll find a better future without making unnecessary enemies.
#15 You Are Enough
Happiness comes from you feeling good from within, and being strong using knowledge to deal with difficult times. Understand that external rejection often has nothing to do with you and the truth is that no one and nothing can truly reject you; it’s a “perception” rather than real. Define yourself on your own terms and not by what someone else thinks.
